Demands v. Requests
I respond much more reasonably to requests compared to demands. It is easier to respond to a request. And if the request is reasonable in itself it's all the more persuasive.
Demands can be difficult to respond to. When someone makes a demand of me, it is not unusual for the hair on the back of my neck to rise - and a reactive resentment might also develop.
Even if the demand is "reasonable" there can be tensions associated with it. For example, if someone tells me to clean up a mess that I have made. It's reasonable to expect me to clean it up. But if someone just tells me to - orders me to - then I might feel some hostility about it. Even if it makes sense that I should clean it up because it's my responsibility to clean up after myself.
But if someone says, "will you please clean up your mess," in a respectful tone - it makes it easier for me to do it. I don't feel bossed around.
If I don't respond to the initial request, the person making the request might ask me when I will clean up my mess. Or he/she could ask why I am not cleaning it up - what am I waiting for?
Nobody likes to be bossed around. It's disrectful and distasteful. This is where those old "I am" messages come in handy for clearing up hurts and misunderstandings.
ReplyDeleteThere's no mistaking that you make wonder photos of flowers. This is a honey.